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Plant Trickery

My nightstand is piled high with vegetable gardening references this time of year. I cross reference everything since I might miss some juicy tidbit that could revolutionize my gardening plans. For instance, I purchased a charming little artichoke this year at a garden center. I’ve not seen them available here in central New York before. What a thrill! So of course I came home and read everything that has ever been written about growing them. Unfortunately my research enlightened me to the bizarre knowledge that I have to “trick” the plant into thinking that it is two years old. If you know me you know that I not good at tricks, pranks, poker, OR jokes for that matter. The trickery is written all over my face. I may as well have my forehead tattooed saying that I am not telling the truth. It’s a gift or a curse- not sure which.

Back to the artichoke- Artie, of course. I have told him that he is behaving like a 2 year old. The pouting and wilting has got to stop. I think he believes me at this point.  If he puts on buds I’m pretty sure that I will have succeeded in the plant trickery. I try to look at another plant when I discuss the Artie’s age so that my face will not give away my untruthfulness. I even feel guilty writing about it.

Upon a little internet research I have found that there is such a thing as Plant Trickery. There are plants that disguise themselves using their appearance or fragrance. We all know of the sneaky Venus Fly Trap and Pitcher Plant who lure clueless bugs they want to snack on. Talk about deception!  In either case THEY are the ones doing the tricking. For our purposes we will disregard this type of trickery since this is a post about tricking THEM.

If you have plants that you need to… let’s say, “disguise the truth” to here are some guidelines that you may want to follow.

  • Be kind. No plant likes being made a fool of. Do not ruin the trust you have built- the roots of your relationship if you will.
  • Wear glasses when telling the plant the necessary false information. If no sunglasses or groucho marx glasses are available, it may be necessary to avert your eyes. Remember your eyes are the windows to your soul.
  • Add some fertilizer. A little manure can help the trickery go down easier and “take”.
  • Tell the subjects’ neighbors to keep a leaf on it. Even if they know the truth they are not allowed to share it or “snip-snip”.
  • Lastly, when all else fails embrace your plant just as he or she is and call it a day. Life is too short to stress or not adore and embrace what you have.


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ABOUT

Hi, I'm Michelle. I am an artist/designer specializing in unique topiary themed illustrations for the Home & Gardener. I live on a farm in Upstate New York with my husband, aka Farmboy, my two children affectionately known as "La La" and "the Bean" and a small petting zoo of other family members.

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